


Shipping Charts

by NervousOtaku (orphan_account)



Series: Tales of a 144 Player Fansession! [17]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Discussion of Shipping, Friendship, Mentions of Stalking, SBURB Fan Session
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 00:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12157590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NervousOtaku
Summary: Or: My Best Friend's Stalker Is Destined To Become Her Boyfriend But No One Knows It Yet





	Shipping Charts

“Oh, no way.” Reina scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Forget you too. They're perfect for each other.” Caitlin shot back as Reina pulled out their chairs.

“You can't base your OTP on your headcanons! That's just dumb!” the Sylph snorted.

“Then what is the point of shipping anything other than canon? Let me have my multi-shipping crack-ship fleet of private drug-cruisers.” the Seer replied, sitting backwards on her chair.

“I'm sorry, but KouNoiz is the only ship I will have for either of those two.”

“Mink fits so nicely with both of them.”

“If you even suggest—”

“Of _course_ I ship MinKouNoiz.” Caitlin scoffed with a wicked grin.

“You're so loose with your ships! Someone is going to _sink_ them!” Reina said with a shake of her head. Smiling, she asked, “Do you want anything?”

“Nah, I'm good. But listen, okay?”

It really had been a while since the two of them had met up and chatted. Reina had brought her friend online into the game, and then they lost contact for a while. But then Caitlin had bumped into Reina— well, honestly, it was more of she almost mowed the blonde down on her bike— while exploring. Reina had learned that Caitlin had been hanging out a lot with her other two friends, Devon and Mariam. She had also been hanging out with her roleplay buddies, Lily and Morgana. Reina was glad that Caitlin seemed to be doing well, since the loss of her father had torn the Seer to shreds.

“I don't want to listen to your drug-riddled crack-theories.” Reina informed her friend with a straight face.

“Technically, every pairing can be viewed as crack, even your thing with the Outer Scouts.”

“You can back _right_ _off_ , missy!”

Caitlin shook her head with a laugh. “When did you become a Heart-player? I was told you were the Sylph of Blood, not the Seer of Heart!”

“And I am, my sense of romance is just better than yours!”

“Oh, really?”

Caitlin looked like she was going to continue, but stopped, head snapping about to stare out the window.

“... Something wrong?”

“... Did I tell you I've acquired a stalker?”

It took a minute for that to sink in.

“I caught him in my dad's study not even a minute after I had a fight with Okamina. I, uh, was on my period, and wound up depressing myself, so for three days I did nothing but throw myself into stupid fights. He, uh, wasn't too pleased with that... chewed me out and hit me. I deserved it, though. But anyway, I went into my dad's study and clocked this guy with the door. He'd been there the _whole time_. _Longer_ than, Okamina said that he caught the guy creeping around my dad's grave. Said his name was Shane, and that he was the second player in. He also said that Butchy brought him to my planet, but that's a load of bull. Only my dad could get Butchy to do anything. Daddy and the occasional Space-player, but mostly my dad.”

“And now the guy's following you?” Reina frowned as Caitlin rested her chin on her folded arms.

“He somehow got ahold of my handle, too.”

“Have you trying stabbing him yet?” she asked, standing up and moving to close the curtains. If some creeper was stalking Caitlin, she didn't want him peering through the windows at them. If he tried, she'd strangle him with her chainlock.

“Pyg would throw a fit if I did that.”

“Pyg?”

“Aah— Pygmalion. The Seer of Doom. He's kinda the one most in the know, since his powers started kicking in before the game even started.”

“And he's bossing you around?”

“No. He gave me advice, since we share a lot of the same properties Seer-wise. He said that in order for us to win, we have to make sure everyone survives until the end. So stabbing the stalker is a no-go.”

Reina frowned, going around to close all the other curtains.

“Shane, huh?”

“Yeah. He's ArtisticPhantom online.”

“I may have to have a chat with Mr. ArtisticPhantom.”

“Please do. I'm at a loss. I can't make him _go away_. He's always talking about how much prettier I would be if I smiled, and how I don't have to be my father to be strong, since I'm the most badass woman he's ever met. He's freaking _everywhere_ , too. There's no escaping the bastard.”

“Sounds like a KouNoiz situation.” Reina blurted before she could stop herself.

“Pfft. No way. Noiz would just outright harass Koujaku into a hate-fuck, until they both realized that you don't snuggle and kiss after hate-fucks.”


End file.
